#3 The Uncomfort Report: Rice and Fish Sauce - The shame I felt as a kid became my pride today.
Hey everyone,
Remember that feeling of shame as a kid? I do. I’d bring rice and fish sauce for lunch while everyone else had sandwiches. I’d wonder, why couldn’t I have what everyone else had? Funny how things change—now I love those very things, thanks to friends who encouraged me to share them over the years.
This week, I want to explore that feeling of shame and how it shaped me. Instead of hiding parts of myself, I now embrace them fully. I build things that matter to me, I share them, and I see what sticks. I act like a startup—I am a startup.
Reading Tony Dinh’s newsletter reinforced that mindset, and it felt great to find someone else doing the same.
Confronting Shame: A Viet Kieu Story
That childhood memory still stings a little. But today, I’m incredibly proud of my Vietnamese heritage. I’m proud of the food I grew up with—I even feel bad for those who missed out on the best flavors in the world! 😉
For many Viet Kieu and members of the Vietnamese diaspora, cultural differences can be a real challenge. We’re often made to feel ashamed of our traditions, our language, or our unique perspectives.
But I’ve realized those are the very things that make us special. I think back to my parents, who left everything behind to start anew. They carried their traditions with them, even when the world around them changed. That resilience is in me too.
The Authenticity Antidote
So how do we overcome shame? For me, it starts with building what I find useful. As Derek Sivers says, "What's obvious to you is amazing to others." If something is valuable to me, chances are it will help others too.
Instead of chasing trends or trying to please everyone, I focus on what resonates with my values and experiences. It’s more interesting that way! It reminds me of that Brit on my tour who refused to try Vietnamese snake liquor.
How do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried?
The same goes for building—just start, experiment, and see what happens. And here’s the thing: even if it doesn’t work out, you’ve still gained experience, and you’ve still put something of yourself into the world.
That’s what matters.
Overcoming Emotional Roadblocks
Of course, knowing what to do and actually doing it are two different things. We all struggle with procrastination.
But as Adam Grant explains,
"Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem."
[Grant, A. (2016). Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World. Viking.]
I was talking to a friend who wanted the rewards without the work—something we all want at times, right? But just because you have a cow doesn’t mean you automatically have milk. The key is to start small: What’s the tiniest step you can take today? Like they say, you can’t bring an elephant through a door whole—you have to cut it into pieces. Divide and conquer.
I struggled with this when I first started creating publicly. I worried about judgment, about whether anyone would care. But I had to remind myself: every creator I admire started somewhere. They weren’t perfect. They simply began.
Paying it Forward & Building Community
Vietnamese culture emphasizes paying it forward. While I still rely on others, I do my best to give back in return. And sometimes, direct help isn’t possible—but I can always support the next person in line. As a friend told me, "If everyone gave what they had, everyone would have what they need."
Speaking of connections, I recently met someone special who could become a business partner—he reached out cold! Proof that putting yourself out there works. And meeting more creative entrepreneurs in HCMC has been energizing.
It’s wild how many opportunities arise just by being visible.
But paying it forward isn’t just about networking. It’s about lifting others up. I think about the teachers, mentors, and friends who encouraged me. The ones who said, "Hey, you should keep going." That kind of support is priceless, and I want to pass it on.
The Journey, Not the Destination
Building anything—whether a business, a relationship, or a skill—is like running in Zone 2 to build endurance. It feels too slow. Someone this week shouted at me while I was running, "Hôm nay trầy nhẹ nhẹ!" ("Quite the chill pace, bro!") But the important thing? I was doing it. Not those watching from the sidelines.
Great things take time. Building a company takes time. Building yourself takes time. The daily grind, the small lessons—they all add up.
It’s tempting to look at overnight success stories and feel behind, but real growth happens in the quiet, in the steady commitment to something bigger than yourself.
Since becoming unapologetic, my energy has been through the roof! Just yesterday, I had an amazing philosophical talk with an uncle, despite losing everything during Covid, he had a shining aura that left me feeling deeply connected and inspired. It’s moments like these that make everything worth it.
On my motorcycle journey from Vũng Tàu to Mũi Né, I saw abandoned resorts—massive investments now left to decay. A reminder of how short-term profit can destroy long-term value. But it also pushed me to build something meaningful. What do I want to create that will stand the test of time? That question keeps me going.
Concluding Thought
Embrace what makes you unique—even if it once brought you shame. Build what matters to you. Support your community. And remember: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
This week, I’m focusing on emotional granularity—the ability to distinguish between different emotions rather than labeling them as "good" or "bad." Research by Lisa Feldman Barrett suggests that those with higher emotional granularity regulate emotions better and experience less overwhelm.
So, what’s one thing you used to be ashamed of but now embrace? Let’s talk in the comments and feel free to reach out, I appreciate you.
Keep it simple. Keep it fresh. Smile. And let it go.
Yours truly, Trung